Suicide Prevention Month

This month of September is Suicide Prevention Month. First declared back in 2008 by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, Suicide Prevention Month is to promote suicide awareness, to acknowledge the loss of our loved ones to suicide, and to learn how to better prevent it.

Suicide Affects Us All

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “Suicide is death caused by injuring oneself with the intent to die. A suicide attempt is when someone harms themselves with any intent to end their life, but they do not die as a result of their actions.” With around 46,000 people committing suicide every year in the United States (4,144 of those in California in 2020—the latest data available), a suicide is committed every 11 minutes on average. The numbers of people who give serious thought to suicide or attempt the act are far higher.

With such high numbers, there is hardly a person not affected by suicide either directly or indirectly. From the loss of relationships, to loss of work time, to a family’s financial and emotional well-being, even the attempt at suicide, let alone committing the act, has far-reaching implications that go far deeper than the person committing the act can possibly imagine.

For people aged 10-14 and 25-34, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death and is the 9th leading cause of death for people aged 10-54 overall. People hit especially hard by suicide are non-Hispanic American Indian/Alaska Native and non-Hispanic White populations, veterans, LGBTQ+, those in rural areas, and people who work in certain industries such as mining and construction. With such a wide-ranging effect on people’s health and mental well-being, it’s vitally important to know the warning signs of suicide and to reach out for help whenever we are going through a difficult time.

Warning signs of suicide

Learning about how to prevent suicides is a useful skill to develop. Knowing the warning signs may just save the life of someone you love.
The CDC lists the 12 warning signs of suicide as:

• Talking about death or suicide
• Access to lethal means
• A feeling of hopelessness
• Increased anger, aggression, or sadness
• Alcohol or drug addiction
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
• Separation from friends and family
• Writing poems, songs, or letters about death and loss
• Giving away precious possessions
• Talking about no longer being alive
• Changes in sleeping or eating habits
• Trouble concentrating
• Engaging in risk-taking behaviors

A person committing suicide rarely does so for one reason alone. There are usually multiple contributing factors such as substance abuse, legal troubles, loss of relationships, lack access to healthcare, and a history of mental illness, among other contributing factors. In similar fashion, successful prevention measures need to be multi-pronged, as outlined by the CDC, with efforts directed toward supplying mental health professionals in under-served areas, stabilizing housing and financial security, teaching coping and problem-solving skills, and promoting connectiveness, among other preventative measures.

Reach Out for Help

As incredibly useful as knowing the warning signs of suicide can be, there will still be times we don’t realize what is going on inside someone’s head. Here in the US, there is still a part of our culture that says asking for help and seeking professional help is a sign of weakness, much less sharing inner difficulties openly with others. Indeed, asking for help is a sign of strength and courage.

If a loved one attempts or commits suicide, do not blame yourself. Instead, seek mental health help of your own to help you grieve and process your loss. We all need someone to walk with us through difficult times.

Suicide Prevention Hotline

The Suicide Prevention Hotline has a new phone number of 9-8-8. Akin to the emergency line of 9-1-1, 9-8-8 is an easily remembered way to get help when in a mental crisis or needing help on behalf of a loved one. With people available 24-7, there are licensed metal health professionals ready to help and refer to community resources. Even if you’re in a rural area without mental health professionals nearby, you can always call or text this number for immediate assistance. Completely free and confidential, a chat feature is also available on the 9-8-8 website.

Bio SoCal is Here to Help

If someone has committed suicide on your Southern California property, Bio SoCal is here to help every month of the year. With emergency suicide cleanup services available 24-7, simply give us a call and we will be there to restore your property whenever you need us.

A long-awaited mental health hotline (9-8-8) is now live and available to call 24/7 with an easy number to remember similar to the long-standing emergency line of 9-1-1. If you are suffering a mental health crisis or are suicidal, you can immediately reach a licensed mental health professional for help with no wait or hold times.

New number is an important step for those in crisis

Originally set up in 2005, the National Suicide Hotline has received around 2.2 million calls a year and provided free help to those in a mental health crisis. While the National Suicide Hotline has been a vital help for those in need, the phone number, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), is not easy to remember in times of crisis. For someone dealing with a mental health crisis, thoughts of suicide, or a loved one in crisis, being able to easily contact someone right away can make a world of difference.

To address this concern, a bipartisan bill was introduced to Congress called the National Suicide Hotline Designation Act to change the phone number to 988 nationwide for suicidal counseling and other mental health crisis. Now up and running since July 16, 2022, with the new number of 9-8-8, people don’t have to stop to look up a number before getting help. They can now simply push three buttons like we do 9-1-1 to get the assistance they need.
With 150 call centers nationwide, 13 of those spread throughout California, there is always someone ready to answer right away and help by talking someone through the crisis or connecting them with local resources to continue with assistance after the call is over.

The 9-8-8 website describes the new service in this way:
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

California Is investing in 9-8-8 call centers

The mental health crisis hotline needs ongoing and regular funding to be successful as a reliable resource long-term. As a first step to regular funding, California’s Department of Health Care Services is investing $20 million to support this important resource. Governor Gavin Newsom said, “Expanded access to mental health services is a central focus of the California Comeback Plan. This $20 million investment is a critical first step to ensure crisis call centers have capacity and are equipped to help all callers so we can meet Californians where they are and expand resources and support during these difficult times.”

Already in use for a month now, Californians have been calling the 9-8-8 number when they are suffering from a mental health crisis and need help before harming themselves or others. With this investment in the future mental health of people throughout our state, we can now work as a community on spreading the word to those who need to hear it.

Call 9-8-8 whenever you need it

Completely free and confidential, 9-8-8 is emotional support when you need it. Simply call 9-8-8 and you will be connected right away with someone prepared and trained to help. A chat feature is also available on the 9-8-8 website.

Dealing with a parent’s suicide is horribly difficult at any age. For a child, many complicated feelings arise they don’t yet have the experience to handle or even name. While we can’t protect the children we love from these traumatic and grief-filled thoughts and feelings, there are ways we can help them cope as they work toward healing.

While we refer here to the loss of a parent, children need help coping with the grief after any close person commits suicide such as a grandparent, sibling, aunt, uncle, or friend.

Talk about emotions openly

As children grieve the loss of their parent, they will go through many complicated feelings. They may feel angry at their parent for leaving them, guilt for not having saved them, resentful at the extra responsibility placed on them in caring for younger children, relief after a parent’s prolonged illness, scared for what will happen to them in the future, and lost without that familiar parental support. Still in the stages of learning to name and handle these emotions, children may feel very confused as they learn to navigate unfamiliar territory and react by hiding away or acting out.

To help children cope with this myriad of emotions, let them know that all feelings they are having are acceptable and that they can share with you or another trusted adult anything they may be experiencing.

Give them different ways to express themselves

Depending on the age of the child, remember they may not be able to express themselves with clear words but may need to draw or play out their feelings in another way. Without this avenue of expression, whether through words or a form of play, children tend to hold things inside and blame themselves for their parent’s suicide. This can result in damaging behavior and mental health issues as they grow and develop into adults. By helping them talk through their feelings, you can address these thoughts and help them know the suicide is not their fault.

Explain mental illness

Explain to a child their parent suffered from a mental illness, that something was wrong with their brain that changed the way they thought and felt. Make sure they understand nothing they could have said or done could have fixed the problem and the suicide was not something they caused. It may even be worth repeating as children sometimes need to hear something more than once to really sink in.

Help the child move forward

Soon after the suicide, help the child get back to their normal routine of school and activities. This will help their sense of safety, predictability, and security. Also make sure they are surrounded by a strong family and social network who can keep an eye on the child and be there for them whenever they need to talk. As the child ages and enters new stages of life, they may need to deal with a new piece of their grief so continue to be there and listen.

Depending on the family situation, there may be other issues present such as drug use, addiction, mental illness, abuse, and poverty. Whether a child is dealing with just the suicide or with multiple issues, many children benefit greatly from seeing a counselor who is experienced in walking with children through the grieving process and other family issues.

Keep an eye out for deeper trauma

Some children, especially those with previous trauma or who are prone to anxiety, need more care to deal with their loss. This need may be expressed through problematic behavior such as withdrawal or acting out. Let the child know they are loved and cared for no matter how they are reacting in those moments. It can, at times, be hard to distinguish what is problematic and what is healthy grieving so as a child grapples with their parent’s suicide, keep an eye out for these changes:

• feelings of deep grief don’t dissipate over time
• the child withdraws verbally/socially/ or physically from previously loved people or activities
• refusal to go to school
• changes in eating or sleeping habits
• hurting themselves or others
• Obsession or avoidance of the parent or suicide event

If a child is not already talking with a counselor when exhibiting these behaviors, it is a good time to start. When a child’s parent or other close loved one commits suicide, that person is also more likely to commit suicide so helping a child grieve in a healthy way is of utmost importance for their future mental and physical health.

Continue helping the child as their grief changes

Just like adults grieving, grief changes over time for children and they will express it in different ways at different times as they walk though the process and grow up without that parent present. Continue to be there for them, listen to what they say and how they act, and get help when needed. Remember, you are likely also grieving and need ongoing support and someone to talk to. Get the care you need so you can also help your child deal with the loss of their parent.

For every person who commits suicide, there is a large group of people around them who are left behind. Once the police have completed their investigation and the funeral is over, these friends and family are left there beside the grave with fresh grief and far more questions than they’ll ever have answers for.

As cited in an article by USA Today, there are roughly 425 people left behind for each suicide committed with 6-42 people being especially close to the one they lost. With pain and grief, these bereaved must find new ways to navigate lives with a gaping hole ever-present.

There is no “right way” to walk with grief

No one can tell you what is the right way to handle your grief nor is there a time limit on grieving. It is not something you move past but you learn to walk with your grief day by day and each experience of grief is different. Some days are going to be okay and some are going to be bad days when simply getting out of bed is a triumph. It goes back and forth and all around. Months, even years later, the grief of losing your loved one may hit you in a new way.

It’s okay to need help after a loved one commits suicide

After a loved one commits suicide, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. So much of our lives can revolve around those we love and after we face such a deep loss, we are left wondering how we could ever go on without the one we love. Though it can be tremendously difficult, it can be helpful to voice our pain and express these questions out loud. While each grief is different, there are other people who have also lost people to suicide who know, to some degree, what you are experiencing. They may have suggestions of what helps them or you may simply need them to listen to your experience or hear you tell stories about the one you lost.

Everyone can use extra support when facing these questions. The stories we’ve told ourselves throughout our lives, the dreams we had for the future, are all called into question and we must grapple with the “what now” when we can’t imagine life without that special person by our side. All of this is an immense loss and to talk about it, to acknowledge it, and share memories of our loved ones may be what we need to get through that next day and the day after that.

Though depression, pain, and sadness can be, at times, all we are able to see, there are people and resources around you who are there to help. Experienced in walking with people who have also lost loved ones to suicide, they know what struggles you may have or have suggestions on things you can do to process what you’re going through.

Those left behind face an increased risk of suicide

For those left behind after a loved one commits suicide, they have an increased rate of committing suicide themselves. Younger people, especially, seem particularly susceptible to this trend though it is certainly not limited to that age group. Children of suicide victims, siblings, spouses, relatives, and friends have all been known to take their own lives after someone close to them takes theirs. With such a stigma around suicide, some people silently suffer in their grief without asking for help. With the clear example before them, they see the option of suicide as a viable solution to their pain.

There is always help nearby

If you have survived the loss of a loved one to suicide, there is always help nearby. Remember:

• Talk about the loss of your loved one
• Be honest with where you’re at and what you’re feeling
• Get the help you need whenever you need it
• Don’t judge yourself – each grief is different
• Use the resources available

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: AFSP keeps a list of bereavement support groups throughout the US.
Suicide Awareness Voices of Education: SAVE has multiple resources for coping with suicide loss in addition to multiple support groups throughout California.
Suicide National Prevention Hotline: “If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 (TALK) any time of day or night or chat online.”

Need help cleaning up after a suicide?

If you need help cleaning your property after someone committed suicide, Bio SoCal is always here to take over at a moment’s notice. With suicide cleanup services throughout Southern California, we can answer any questions you have or provide a free quote and consultation. Most insurance policies cover the cost of suicide cleanup.